Monday, April 12, 2010

Team Progress Press Release Draft

Release Date: March 12, 2010

For Immediate Release

Office of the Press Secretary

Contact: 202-282-XXXX

“The Department of Agriculture and the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is releasing its plans for the revitalization of United States farmland in order to safely and adequately support the nation’s food needs in the aftermath of the recent nuclear attacks. Unfortunately, at this time it will be impossible to recover all of the current farmland, therefore, the Department of Agriculture has determine that it will only be necessary to recover 40 % of the nations farmland at this time. This value is based on estimates made of crop demand based on the current population’s needs and the strict restrictions on exports as directed by the Department of Homeland Security. This process of recovery will be difficult and time consuming but it is necessary for the preservation of this nation. “

“The United States Army Core of Engineers and the cooperating industry partner, Caterpillar are assembling the necessary equipment to begin this revitalization process. The process will involve a nationwide effort to select the necessary sites for reclamation and begin the removal of the unsafe irradiated soil. In accordance to the Environmental Protection Agency as well as the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), careful efforts will be made to prevent radiated compounds from entering the underground water table, used for drinking purposes, and the newly reclaimed soil that will be used for crop production. “

“In order to ensure the newly planted crops following the nuclear fallout will be deemed safe for harvesting, processing, and distribution the following methods are currently being practiced:”

“Using a series of massive strip-mining diggers acquired by a German manufacturer, Krupp, called the Bagger 228, several smaller diggers, and large sized dump trucks such as the Caterpillar F-series, the contaminated soil layer will be removed from the surface and replaced with recovered soil from deeper below. Testing will be performed on the recovered soil in order to assure that the soil is indeed safe. The irradiated soil will be buried underneath the new soil in order to create the necessary grading. The two layers will be separated by a layer of rock and drainage ducts to prevent rainwater and irrigation water from entering the irradiated soil layer. This will also ensure that the water can be recovered safely and reused for irrigation. As an added safety measure there will be layers of peat and crushed rock underneath the irradiated soil to ensure that no irradiated compounds can enter the underground water table. At the surface, Geiger monitoring stations will be erected to detect any possible radiation that may threaten future crop and human safety.”

“We are aware of the ramifications of this process on the environment, society, and the agricultural industry. This is a costly procedure but it is a necessary effort in order to preserve the well-being of this great nation. We strongly ask for the continued support of the people of the United States as we recover as one nation during these troubled times.”

1 comment:

  1. Made some spelling/grammar corrections. BTW: it's USACE: Corps. Not Core. =)

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